so today i decided that i would write a blog. I'm not sure that anyone will actually read this but i think in a way it helps me a bit! To be able to put out there my daily dilemma's. So i can discuss children, husband, family, health, etc.
Let me start out by telling a little bit about myself. My name is Ashley and I'm 22. i have two wonderful children. Grace is 3 she will be 4 in July, and gunner is 11 weeks old. i have an amazing husband! and i couldn't picture going through my life without him!! he makes me laugh and smile everyday! I'm not really sure where to start this whole blog thing out so I'm just going to ramble. :)
I had my gall bladder removed on Wednesday. It was very scary for me not because i thought it would hurt or anything but because i didn't know what was going to happen. My husband Brian stayed home with the children and my mother went with me. I preferred it that way, not sure if its just me but when I'm sick or anything i always feel like the best person to make me relax is my mother! I'm not sure what i would do without that women (more of that later). So anyways i went to the hospital at 9 am and i didn't go under until 12:22 i remember then making me count backwards from 100 and the last number i remember was 96....id say i didn't make it far :) then i wake up to cold air blowing in my face and seeing the clock on the wall and it was 3:15. After being able to get out of bed on my own into a chair they brought me back to the room where my mom had been sitting. i was in pain and i didn't read her emotions that well. My mother and i can always tell when something is wrong with the other person. After awhile they gave me a shot because i felt sick and i felt very tired. I heard my mother say she was going to go get my medication filled then we could go home. But after about and hour and a half my husband showed up. i was okay with that because i missed him. Brian told me that my mother got the kids and went home. We finally got home at 6 and i called my mom to tell her the doctor said that it went great and everything was fine, but she didn't sound fine and that scared me. i asked her many times what was wrong and she just kept saying did the doctor talk to you did she come in personally and i kept answering the same answer yes she did. And my mom didn't say anything but i could hear her voice get scratchy. so i finally raised my voice (i was shacking i was scared) and i said mom tell me what you need to tell me. She paused..........................Then what felt like forever she said. The doctor came and took me into another room and told me that your surgery itself went well, but she had a look at your liver. i said OK. Well the liver is suppose to be a maroon red color and yours is yellow. i listened not really knowing where this was going. so i let her continue. She said that if you don't lose weight soon that you will die of liver failure. In that moment following those words i cried and all i could think of is what if i die what about my children, my husband, my family. no i CANNOT let that happen. i still don't understand why the doctor didn't tell me herself. why she needed to tell my mother and then have my mother tell me! i think everyone in my family knew about it except me. my husband knew and he never said a word. all i can think of is maybe he thought i knew and didn't want to press the issue.
So that's where this blog comes in. I'm going to update daily or weekly of my progress of getting healthy for me and my family. I don't want to die because i didn't find my life important enough to take charge and do something about it. i need support and i think that writing this will get all the troubles i feel off my chest. tomorrow is a new day and a new blog!! :) Have a great Sunday everyone!
